Report of an abused child.

God created mothers
“God cannot be everywhere, therefore he created the mothers.”

Rarely laughed so much. I've heard this quote many times - and it makes me nauseous on a regular basis. When I'm having a good day, and over the years they have increased significantly, I can wave away with a tired smile. On less good days, the past still comes frighteningly close to me. taunts me, makes it sometimes, to put a stranglehold on me.

Then I panic, feel mortal. Now, That comes, as said, not so common anymore. Nevertheless, in these moments I feel like the child again, that I once was, but I haven't been for a long time: delivered, unloved, alone.
I don't want to ask for sympathy or bring tears to my eyes. It was quite simply like that. The past hangs, like a second, rotten skin on me - I can't completely shake it off to this day.
Of course I know, that this quote above applies to most mothers. That's a good thing. Being a mother is something wonderful – for me too. I'm not even sure about that, do I belong to the group?, to whom the quote is directed. Although I have my children – five in number – love above all and they are the most important thing in my life or. were: Auch, after seeing my daughter 1973 up for adoption and two sons
already had to say goodbye. My children are mine – next to my wife Silvi – the most important. But this is another story.
I have always done everything, so that my children are well. I'm sure, I can say that with a clear conscience. Although some outsiders probably don't see it that way.
First things first: It is by no means my intention, to withdraw to what was inflicted on me - according to the motto: „Moment mal, …

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